“I’m small, but I’m mighty. I’m magnetic. I am multi-dimensional. I’m genuine. I make my own rules. I can do anything and so can you.”
I have always tried to hide my body because I’m embarrassed by it. I never believe anyone when they say I look good. I try to put all my effort into my hair and face and just hide behind that. I am a lively, bright, rainbow of a person inside but I’m trapped behind this fear of my body.
This is a gift to myself. (Crying as I write this.) I want to love myself the way other people do. I’m hoping to gain a sense of empowerment from this experience.
I’m doing this because I want to break out of my comfort zone. I spend every day hiding, I don’t really wanna spend THAT day hiding.
My photos make me feel empowered because they illuminate who I am. Inside me, I have a fire and a light and a sparkle and those things get dulled and diminished sometimes. These photos show who I really am. You can see in my eyes that I am playful, and joyous, and sensual, and passionate. You know something about me before you even meet me.
How do I pick a favorite photo?! I would describe my current (it will probably cycle through several) favorite photos) as: Sultry AF. It’s dripping with desire. That photo is my favorite because of the chiaroscuro (that’s right, I took Art History lolol) with the shadows on my face and the light hitting my chest and my profile. The expression on my face and the movement in the feather make it electric.
I’ll say it a hundred times: I got more out of my one day with Betsy than I have gotten out of five years of counseling. I left Betsy’s house loving myself louder and louder. It’s been almost a month and I am still riding that euphoric wave.
How I felt that day and how I feel right now, that’s real. It doesn’t have to go away just because time passes or just because I’m not dressing up and having my photo taken every day. I can feel the way I felt in that picture right now if I wanted to. I can do anything.
I am STRUTTING my stuff. When someone compliments me, I don’t disagree and argue with them anymore. I thank them. Sometimes I even agree with them (respectfully of course)! I have gained so much self-love. SO much self-love.
Since my session, I don’t look in the mirror and think, “I look sexy despite this part and this part of my body.” I think, “I look sexy. Full stop.” It’s funny because I would receive compliments from other people and I would think, “They’re just being nice to me, they’re just telling me that because they know it’ll make me smile.” But now I’m seeing myself the way others have seen me this whole time. It’s like I had blinders on or something and this session helped me shed those.
What about you? Are you ready to see yourself in a whole new light?
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